Thursday, October 2, 2008
If I were at home, I would see the beauty that Fall has to offer... the trees turn exquisite shades of yellow, orange and red. These wonderful leaves begin to blanket the ground and turn crisp. I normally step out of my way to step on the crunchiest leaf of all, just to hear it crackle beneath my feet. I miss the smell of fall. It smells of bonfires and hot chocolate. When the weekends come around, you can hear bass drums in the air from all of the marching bands beating out their football team's fight song. Hoodies are needed... sometimes, at night breath becomes visible in the air... it's apparent that God designed this season to signify a shedding of what was once before to prepare for what is to come.
I think fall is developing new meaning for me because it currently represents my life. Walls that were once built to self-protect are falling down. Masks that were once worn are breaking apart and falling away. I've been told by my wise roommate, Valerie, that I'm entering into a time to allow myself to finally grieve over what I've lost. I now get to deal with my past, break habits and watch God prepare me for what is to come. This time for me is hard and it doesn't look like anything I've ever experienced before. This is a precious time to truly look at myself for who I am and realize who God sees when He looks at me.
So, what else do you need to know? Well, things look different for me in the world of ministry. I'm not leading bible studies this semester. I'm taking a break from much of the heavy out-pouring I was giving and focusing more on the input I will be receiving. I may not have many blogs about the cool experiences I am having on campus. Many of the things I write here may shock you... but know that they are shocking me as they are revealed to me. I am excited to go through this time, as difficult as it may be... hmmm... that may be a lie. I think I'm more excited for the outcome of this time. Things are changing for the best. It just takes a process to get to that point. So please pray with me and for me as I walk through this time of "fall".
As always, thanks for reading and praying. Love and miss you all in Tempe & Cincinnati.