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Thursday, February 28, 2008

So its been awhile.....

I just saw that my last post was from back in December. Soooooo much has happend in the past 2.5 months. Sorry its been so long since my last post. From now on, I'll try to keep this going.

Lets see, I don't think it's wise for me to sit here and try to remember every detail from way back when, so I'll just focus on some of the highlights.

My last blog was a desperate plea for me to remember to cling to God and His truths. He always provides, is always trustworthy and will never leave. I spent a lot of time in December/January feeling out of control and scared because nothing was in my hands. Part of me questioned whether or not I could trust God for seeminling mundane things. Well at the end of January, God blew me away. I needed to become fully funded by February 1, 2008 in order to continue serving full-time on campus. January 28, 2008, I just so happend to check my account and expected to see that I was still below my funding goal. God came through in a HUGE way. I only needed $36 to become "offically" 100%! I also found out that there was still some of the ethnic funding from the Navigators that was originally going to help me become 100% if I still had need. I was overjoyed! Two days before my deadline, the funding goal was met and I had nothing to worry about. Praise the Lord!

Enter February. Not only is it the shortest month ever, but it has seriously FLOWN by. I was talking with Sarah earlier this week week and asked her if she realized that March was on Saturday. So here's something crazy, by the beginning of Spring Break, there will be exactly two more months until ASU holds GRADUATION for the class of '08. I feel like time is flying by and I can not grasp onto any of it. On one hand, I'm excited at how fast time is going by, but on the other I know that means I have big decisions to make. At the beginning of February, I sat with my Regional Director and discussed what next year could look like for me. I was shocked that I've already finished a year and half of EDGE and that I have to start serious decision making about Staff In Training. I told Joe that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this whole "staff thing" for the long haul. I told him that I still had my doubts about funding. Joe reassured me that I have relied on the Lord for two years now to fund me fully and He's gone above and beyond what I "need". So no longer does the question "Will God provide for me" still exist. So if I choose S.I.T, and if the funding doesn't happen fully, and if things become financially hard for me, God still will take care of me in every capacity I need for Him to. I've seen that firsthand and He's proven that to me over and over.

February has also been a month of learning for me. Each semester I try to find girls that I can claim as "mine" and say that I've had some awesome eternal impact. I think I can call that Learning Lesson 2. (The whole lesson about funding and provision was lesson 1.) Well this time, the girls I was extremely excited about simply just decided that meeting with me looks a little different in their minds. Some have simply made themselves comepletely unavailable and no longer answer or return any means of communication made towards them. Others have just decided that "This isn't something they feel like talking about or dealing with or want to do." I respect that. I'd rather them tell me they don't want it rather than feed me false answers. But I did sit back and wonder what the lesson was in all of this. Well, as I was crying and feeling extremely discouraged one day, God reminded me of Jesus. How Jesus watched people turn from Him daily. How His own disciples denied ever knowing Him and even scattered after His arrest. How Jesus died on the cross for the World and daily people decide that the message of Christ isn't a message they "just feel like believing in today." Who am I to get sad over the fact that a few students don't want to meet up with me? I mean, it hurts because I truly do value the friendship and mentor relationship of these women and when they don't want to meet up with me, I sometimes don't know what to think. Jesus felt this so much worse and I need to count it a blessing that I'm "sharing in His suffering" just a little bit. This was a huge lesson for me because not only did God remind me of who I am and who Jesus is, but He also showed me how to combat the lies I believe with Truth. When I live in Truth and walk in Truth, I don't have to continue to live in discouragement and defeat. The lies I believe about myself, my ministry and who God is are disarmed and will not have an effect on me anymore. Wow, what a mighty God we serve.

There are definitely more blogs to come. Right now I should get back to working on Bible study. Thanks for reading my ramblings about what God's been up to in my life. Love you.

3 comments:

spartacus21 said...

maybe your time is made t look different just to teach you that! i love your perspective boo boo. i know i value the time we've shared this semester as compared to others. i love you! happy almost half birthday!

Brad said...

lol, oh Michelle...it looks like you haven't been on here for awhile again ;)

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