Sunday, January 4, 2009

Homesick? Maybe...

I laughed at myself as I drove onto the 71-N entrance ramp from Rookwood... I thought about how I planned to move from Clifton to Oakley, get a cute 1-bedroom apt and work for a non-profit organization somewhere. I had everything planned and was somewhat excited about it. Little did I know that God would take me somewhere drastically different. The thought of actually leaving Cincinnati NEVER crossed my mind. During all of this thought process, I have had to fight the temptation to believe I had it so much better when living in Cincinnati. I look at the example of the children of Israel who always claimed that had it better way back when... especially when they were facing large tests of faith.

I picture myself standing at the water's edge. The water is rushing by and I don't know how to swim. I know I have to make it across, but honestly, there's no way to get over there. I keep hearing a voice telling me to trust because He can get me to where I need to be, but in true human fashion, I'm hesitant. Will I trust the Lord to stop the flow so that I can cross safely? Am I willing to even take the necessary steps? Or do I want to just sit on the bank and look back through clouded lenses attempting to convince myself that life was much better way back when...

At this moment, I don't want to leave to go back to Long Beach. Nothing against it... I do enjoy living out west... I think I'm just extremely sad to leave what I have here. I've been able to spend time with my best friends from college, re-live TONS of memories and do all the things I miss doing now that I'm with different people on the west coast. I'm going to desperately miss my family... my precious nephews Amir and Michael and my sister Dalena... This was probably the best time I've ever had at home and it flew by way to quickly.

Highlights from Cincinnati:
-I will never ever grow sick of eating Skyline Chili
-Watching my nephew Michael work his tiny fist mostly into his mouth and listening to him babble away at himself as he slowing rocks to sleep in his swing.

-Witnessing my six year old sports star of a nephew sink the ball at his Finneytown Little Cats basketball game
-Sitting at Mac's re-living the past and having a fabulous time in the present
-Photobooth pics in Lexington with Bizcuit :)
-Visiting my Grandaddy who will never cease to amaze me
-Kate, Emily, Linds, Jeff, Rich, Matt, Nick, Adam, CJ, Betsey, Dan, Doug, Katie... everyone.. its always fabulous to get time with these people
-Actually being present while one of my friends gets engaged... Congrats Emily and Doug!!!

Things I'm hopeful for in '09:
-emotional healing from deep deep past hurts
-close friendships outside of my Navs network
-to be known like (or somewhat like) I am when I'm in Cincinnati
-a church to call home
-new friendships on CSULB's campus
-more bible readings in the dorms
-more conversations about Christ and how He impacts life
-watching some pretty key girls that I'm really stoked about grow and become more excited in their walk with Christ

I'm sure there's more and I'll be sure to blog about it in a couple of months...

Anyway, thanks for reading. You stay classy, Cincinnati ;)


Lindsey said...

love you michelle. glad you enjoyed your stay in the nati!

j.US.t chatter said...

hey girl. i'm adding your blog to my 'people i like list' on my blog. :) ill be checkin back. let's watch God work in '09. :]

Lauren Elise said...

Amir is sooo fast! He's going to be amazing when he's older!