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Friday, August 15, 2008

External processing & A need for prayer

If I'm not honest with myself... who will I be honest with?


I love living here. Everything is different and its cool. I am beginning to adjust a little and getting used to living in Cali.... although, last night when we put together Esther's armoire, (sp) we had to earthquake proof it... which was a bit weird for me. I'm not used to earthquake proofing things.

The thing I need to be honest about is the fact that I am overwhelmed. I'm sooo overwhelmed with moving, being involved with a new/different ministry, the need to be vulnerable with new people who don't know me yet... everything. Please pray for me. Pray that I would find my comfort in the Lord and not any other place. Pray that I would feel okay to cry and be emotional. Lately, I've been telling myself that I can't cry and admit that I'm overwhelmed because when I do that, I'm doubting that the Lord is capable of working... there can't be any truth in that statement.

Anyway, the latest stress is funding...(isn't that always my stress?) As I said yesterday, I have to leave California in a month to head back to Cincinnati for 2-3 weeks to work more on my fund-raising. (September 17th - September 30th...possibly even through October 6th) Currently, I'm at 59% of my fully funded goal. 70% allows me to minister full time on campus for the fall semester. That means right now I've raised a little over $36,000. To be here for the fall I need at least another $10,000. To have 100% would be $62,000. Big numbers? Yes. Does it look ridiculous? Possibly. Do we have a big God? Yes. And, He does things that ALWAYS seem impossible. I'm excited because I've never raised this much money before, and I've seen the Lord do incredible things and bless me throughout these past few months. I'm discouraged because I unfortunately look at my percentage and realize I still have a long way to go. So, all this to say I need your prayer. Please pray with me in seeking the Lord for strength. Please pray that I will finally deal with emotions and fears and how I'm feeling. Please pray that the funding would come in... soon.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. I'll see you soon, Cincinnati.

Here's an upside... I'll at least get to be there at the start of football season. WHODEY!! (that's for you Randall ;P )

3 comments:

Randall said...

I heard this song today and it made me think of you.



Walking with You is not without hazards
Trippling's this traveler's curse
The price paid for falling is more than a stumble
In a world that is watching and waiting for words

But I listened when You said go
And I set out in spite of my fears
I brought truth mixed with my imperfections
And the question of what to say when I got here
And now that I'm here

Should I tell them that You are
The One who has made me
And saved me to set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am
A perfect example of all
You can do with a life
What should I say to them,
What if I'm failing them?
What should I tell them tonight?

Don't get me wrong
I'm thankful to be here
With this song to sing and a spotlight on me
But lately I'm wondering if You are mistaken
If you're seeing all of me there is to see

But on every face I detect these
Same questions I've posed to You
Like do You speak through the imperfect
Or are we too dirty for Your light to get through
I want Your light to get through

Should I tell them that You are
The One who has made me
And saved me to set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am
A perfect example of all
You can do with a life
What should I say to them,
What if I'm failing them?
What should I tell them tonight?

'Cause they're thirsty but my cup is empty
Come and meet me here in this place
'Cause I'm unashamed, and I'm unprepared
And I'm just plain afraid

Should I tell them that You are
The One who has made me
And saved me to set up a home there inside
Should I tell them that I am
A perfect example of all
You can do with a life
What should I say to them,
What if I'm failing them?
What should I tell them tonight?

Michelle Renae :) said...

thanks for the song. i'll have to go and look it up on iTunes

Kate said...

WHOOOOOOOOOODEYYYYYYY...first home pre-season game TODAY! I'm not going (I'm at the other ballpark). See you Sept. 17. Can't wait!

Love,

your lover.