Where does the time go?

So I feel like time has been speeding by lately. Its already time for me to drive home to Cincinnati and really hit fundraising hard. After this, I won't be living in Arizona any longer.... wow. Anyway, if you in Cincy from June 15th -July 27, let me know. I would LOVE to see you this summer.

Just some thoughts...

Needed a little bit of processing time...

I am so excited for next year. I have been taking time to think back over my life from the past two years and I have gone through a lot of change. I moved away from my comfort zone in Cincinnati and had my world completely rocked. All that I thought I knew was completely challenged and refocused. This process that I am going through can only continue to get better as I walk through it. Not that any of this has been easy. I have wanted to throw in the towel and give up plenty of times. I have fought with myself and attempted to refuse change. I claimed that things were better before, which is completely untrue. As I type this, I am reminded of Jeremiah 29. The popular verse from this chapter says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I actually encourage you to read this chapter in its entirety because it paints a beautiful picture of what it means to seek for hope in the midst of struggle. The Israelites wanted to give up... they could not see a purpose for being in exile or understand what they were walking through. In Hosea 2:14 God says, "Therefore, behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." (In the NIV is says "desert" instead of wilderness...) God needed to bring the Israelites (and myself) to a place where we could get away from all that was familiar and actually focus on the things He wanted to say. Anyway, I think that would describe my time here in the desert.

So...if you don't already know, I am moving to Long Beach, CA. I am continuing on staff with the Navigators through Staff In Training. Through lots of time in the Word and praying, I have sensed the Lord calling me to something big and outside of my realm of understanding...(that is what makes me excited to keep going and to continue trusting in the Lord.)

Moving is challenging and I am sad to let go of a lot of things. Its sad that I won't be apart of things here at ASU. I had such a hard time at the end of the year luau knowing that this was the last event for me to participate in with the Navs here. Throughout my time at ASU, I was asked if I had found a home in the desert. I can definitely say that I have. I met people here who became like family to me. These people fought for me to know the Lord in a more intimate way. They prayed for me, encouraged me, called me out, and helped me find truth. These people loved me when I was hesitant to love them back. I don't want to leave that. But again, through prayer and time in the Word, I am encouraged. Experience has taught me that the Lord will provide everything I need. So, I will find more people to add to my family out here in the west. I am excited to meet new people and to allow them to speak into my life as I grow, make mistakes and continue to learn truth. This will be another hard journey, but it will be good.

Internal and Eternal

It's 1 am and I don't know why I'm blogging....

Possibly because I always process my life and things that God is doing during the wee hours of the morning. Here are my thoughts right now.

Today was our "End of the Year" Luau and it was a bit hard. I realized earlier in the day that this was my last event with the ASU Navigators. Wow, sometimes I'm still in shock that 2 years has already gone by.... anyway, leaving this place is and will be hard. I have made some incredible friends here and I don't want to leave them. As I hear about plans for next year at ASU, a part of me becomes jealous and is tempted to question my decision to move. I know that what I am doing is good... God is good and He's the reason why I'm doing it. But leaving behind the old and comfortable SUCKS. Who wants change all the time?

So, while one side of me is venting and desperately attempting to cling to what I know in Arizona, another side... one of reason... kicks in. I am reminded of John 17:3, which says, "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." This is a part of the prayer Jesus is praying in the garden... right before He's arrested, tried and sentenced to crucifixion. I am reminded that I'm in this job and I minister on campus because I desire so greatly for people to know truth... the truth about God and how His truth will transform lives. I think this has to be more important than my temporary comfort or discomfort level.

So Jesus, I resolve to serve You and You alone. I pray that the Good News would ring out throughout the campuses of Arizona State and Long Beach. Thank you for how you've transformed my life and used me to impact the lives of others. Thank you for great friends at ASU. Please continue to bless the Navigators here at ASU and all of those whom they will interact with. I pray the same for Long Beach. Please help me to always serve you whole-heartedly. I love you. Amen.

Photo Shoot :)

Sarah and I had a funding photo shoot. Thanks to our lovely photographer, Alicia :) You rock!! Here's some of our favorites:

Talk so sweet....

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14

In the NIV, instead of wilderness, the word used is "desert". I believe this is why I have ended up spending the craziest two years of my life in Phoenix, Arizona. God knew I needed out of my comfort zone in order to hear the sweet and tender things He wanted to tell me. Moving wasn't easy... I left behind many friendships and lots of comfort. I left the only place I truly ever knew. Now, I'm ready. I'm ready for the next chapter of my life. I'm ready to listen for the sweet things God wants to say to me... whether I'm in the desert or not. I believe I'm finally stepping into whom God designed me to be... and I'm finally excited about all of that.

What are some of the sweet things I've heard our amazing Creator say to me? I've heard Him say that my shame doesn't belong to me any more. We sing this song at church and one of the lines is, "Sin has lost its claim/My soul has lost its blame/We've been lifted up from the fall once and for all." Because Jesus died on the cross, all of the blame and shame I've always felt no longer belongs to me. Freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom. God has also shown me how beautiful He thinks I am... now, that's amazing. I don't have to search any longer for an identity. I have one because of Christ. I'm dearly loved. Sought after. Paid for. Free. These are a few of the things I've heard God say to me. I am excited to hear what else He desires for me to know.

So its been awhile.....

I just saw that my last post was from back in December. Soooooo much has happend in the past 2.5 months. Sorry its been so long since my last post. From now on, I'll try to keep this going.

Lets see, I don't think it's wise for me to sit here and try to remember every detail from way back when, so I'll just focus on some of the highlights.

My last blog was a desperate plea for me to remember to cling to God and His truths. He always provides, is always trustworthy and will never leave. I spent a lot of time in December/January feeling out of control and scared because nothing was in my hands. Part of me questioned whether or not I could trust God for seeminling mundane things. Well at the end of January, God blew me away. I needed to become fully funded by February 1, 2008 in order to continue serving full-time on campus. January 28, 2008, I just so happend to check my account and expected to see that I was still below my funding goal. God came through in a HUGE way. I only needed $36 to become "offically" 100%! I also found out that there was still some of the ethnic funding from the Navigators that was originally going to help me become 100% if I still had need. I was overjoyed! Two days before my deadline, the funding goal was met and I had nothing to worry about. Praise the Lord!

Enter February. Not only is it the shortest month ever, but it has seriously FLOWN by. I was talking with Sarah earlier this week week and asked her if she realized that March was on Saturday. So here's something crazy, by the beginning of Spring Break, there will be exactly two more months until ASU holds GRADUATION for the class of '08. I feel like time is flying by and I can not grasp onto any of it. On one hand, I'm excited at how fast time is going by, but on the other I know that means I have big decisions to make. At the beginning of February, I sat with my Regional Director and discussed what next year could look like for me. I was shocked that I've already finished a year and half of EDGE and that I have to start serious decision making about Staff In Training. I told Joe that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this whole "staff thing" for the long haul. I told him that I still had my doubts about funding. Joe reassured me that I have relied on the Lord for two years now to fund me fully and He's gone above and beyond what I "need". So no longer does the question "Will God provide for me" still exist. So if I choose S.I.T, and if the funding doesn't happen fully, and if things become financially hard for me, God still will take care of me in every capacity I need for Him to. I've seen that firsthand and He's proven that to me over and over.

February has also been a month of learning for me. Each semester I try to find girls that I can claim as "mine" and say that I've had some awesome eternal impact. I think I can call that Learning Lesson 2. (The whole lesson about funding and provision was lesson 1.) Well this time, the girls I was extremely excited about simply just decided that meeting with me looks a little different in their minds. Some have simply made themselves comepletely unavailable and no longer answer or return any means of communication made towards them. Others have just decided that "This isn't something they feel like talking about or dealing with or want to do." I respect that. I'd rather them tell me they don't want it rather than feed me false answers. But I did sit back and wonder what the lesson was in all of this. Well, as I was crying and feeling extremely discouraged one day, God reminded me of Jesus. How Jesus watched people turn from Him daily. How His own disciples denied ever knowing Him and even scattered after His arrest. How Jesus died on the cross for the World and daily people decide that the message of Christ isn't a message they "just feel like believing in today." Who am I to get sad over the fact that a few students don't want to meet up with me? I mean, it hurts because I truly do value the friendship and mentor relationship of these women and when they don't want to meet up with me, I sometimes don't know what to think. Jesus felt this so much worse and I need to count it a blessing that I'm "sharing in His suffering" just a little bit. This was a huge lesson for me because not only did God remind me of who I am and who Jesus is, but He also showed me how to combat the lies I believe with Truth. When I live in Truth and walk in Truth, I don't have to continue to live in discouragement and defeat. The lies I believe about myself, my ministry and who God is are disarmed and will not have an effect on me anymore. Wow, what a mighty God we serve.

There are definitely more blogs to come. Right now I should get back to working on Bible study. Thanks for reading my ramblings about what God's been up to in my life. Love you.

Taking a look back...

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." --> Matthew 6:25-34

I've decided that this is my new life verse. I'm claiming it for myself, my ministry, my funding, my everything. I love it because it's Jesus talking about how much our Father in heaven will take care of us. As I read this verse, I'm completely humbled because I'm reminded of how much I worry and how much I take things into my own hands. Jesus is compelling us to look at the birds in the air and the grass in the field and observe how much they are taken care of. I'm more important than a bird, right? I'm cared for more than the grass of the fields. I have to know and must believe that if these things are taken care of, God WILL take care of me. I also love how Christ points out the fact that God know all that we need. He created the need and therefore has a way to provide for the need. How incredible is that??

As I look back on this semester, I think about all the times where I didn't think God would come through. I didn't believe that He had control of whatever situation and because of that, I let my faith waiver. As I look back, I can't help but give praise to God for how He has worked and how He completely blew me away.
*I had a bible study of girls who committed to meeting weekly and came prepared to talk about the study.
*I saw God call one of his daughters (from the bible study) back to Him and drastically change her life.
*I witnessed 150 college students and Nav staff come together to build 4 houses in 1.5 days.
*I saw 20 amazing college women come together and share the gospel in a language not their own.
*I and all of you who read this blog and support the ministry prayed for God to do big things in our lives and ministry here at ASU and He did just that.

Again, conclusions from this semester: Ask of Him what is needed and He provides. Sometimes He provides in ways I can't understand or don't think He will provide at all... God always has surprises for us.

Connection to God is KEY. If we are not connected to God we cannot say that He is not faithful. I've had plenty of conversations with people who have just decided that God is not real, or God does not provide for us, or that He simply does not care. I think that is just a projection of our fears and unbelief on Him. God cares so much He provided a way out of sin and darkness. He gave us a way for us to walk in the light, to walk in wealth, in richness, in full-life. I'm saddened to watch people dilberately choose things that do not give God glory and then blame Him when they perceive "His lack of provision." We must stay connected to God in order to grow. Of course this is not easy. I'll be the first to admit that. I've continually chosen other things over my Creator because they simply appealed more to me. I've walked through my share of hard things and dark times. I've even been one to claim that God is not there and does not care. But now I'm committed to being connected with God. I'm committed to helping others connect with God. Its amazing and I'm excited for next semester.